Drunken Dizzy Carousel Dream
As consciousness slowly returned to me, I felt like I was being wheeled on a carousel. Rotation, headache, and the inability to open my eyes is what I felt. But when I was still able to open my eyelids, a strange sight awaited me: a ceiling that moved smoothly around the axis.I tried to roll over on my side and came across something warm and soft. It was a man, naked. I got scared terribly and slowly ran my hand over his body to make sure it wasn't a dream. He noticed my movement and pressed my hand against him. Hearing his voice, I realized that this was my teacher. I experienced interfering sleepiness and even pain in my head, but still asked for water.
My thoughts were vague, but I remembered we were playing a game and things became somehow unnatural after that. When I drank the water, I fell asleep, hoping it was all just a dream. But when I woke up, I realized that I was in a strange situation: I was in his shirt, naked, and did not remember what happened. Depressed by these thoughts, I tried to remember, but nothing occurred to me.
When my teacher brought me food, I got up to eat, and only then noticed that there was nothing on me except the shirt. At that moment, panic took hold of me, and I realized that something terrible had happened.
I tried to fist my will and solve this mystery, but my thoughts were like a tangled tangle of threads. Slowly I started to realise what had happened and it was just incredible. Did we sleep? All I could do was slowly realise that now my life would never be the same.
My teacher looked at me embarrassed and I couldn't meet his gaze. Instead, I focused on food, trying to drive away the turmoil and impotence.
But the further, the more I began to realize that I could not stay here. I have to leave, ASAP, and forget about this night. But how? My head was still spinning and my heart was banging in unison with painful thoughts.
When my teacher left me alone with my thoughts, I closed my eyes and tried to breathe. But even at that point, I knew it wasn't the end of it. My life is just beginning and I have to find the strength to deal with what happened.
Finally, gathering the last remnants of courage, I got out of bed and began to dress. I had to leave this room, this house, this city, and start over. But before that, I had to make a difficult decision: forgive myself for what happened and move on.
With bitterness in my heart and tears in my eyes, I left the room and set off in search of a new beginning. The future was uncertain, but I knew I had to be strong and believe in myself to overcome all the difficulties that might come my way.
I felt that time was inexorably moving forward, and I was stuck in this moment, trying to realize what to do next. But no thought could penetrate the fog that enveloped my consciousness.
With each move, I increasingly walked away from the night before, but her shadow remained a dubious companion to my future. I knew I had to go forward, but how to do that when everything inside me was ripped to pieces?
As I walked past familiar streets and houses, I could feel every corner reminding me of the past. All I could do was run, run as far as possible from this nightmare.
But the longer I ran, the more clearly I understood that the problems would not disappear, simply because I ignore them. I needed to gather the will into a fist and step forward, even if it meant facing myself and my fears.
Finally, I decided it was time to take my destiny into my own hands. I stopped running and started looking for answers within myself. I realized that in order to move on, I need to forgive myself and find the strength to overcome all difficulties.
So began my journey to healing and a new beginning. I didn't know what was going to happen next, but I was ready to accept everything life would bring me along the way.
30.04.2024
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